


Crazy Cat Mormons

by ElderTrash



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Cats, M/M, mcpriceley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 04:35:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4507977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElderTrash/pseuds/ElderTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kevin Price has dubbed himself the official "Cat Dad" of the neighborhood, but his new neighbor begins to steal his thunder</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crazy Cat Mormons

"Here you go Tuna." Kevin Price said, setting down a plastic Tupperware full of Meow Mix in front of a skinny white cat.

Two more cats trotted out from a bush and joined Tuna. A grey fluffy cat named Dolores and shiny blue-grey cat named Scotty.

Living in Key West, Florida had its perks. Fine cuisine, fun activities, theatre and concerts, and more friendly stray cats than you could count. Kevin had unofficially declared himself honorary father of all of the stray kitties in his neighborhood and he fed and played with them everyday.

The sound of a moving truck beeping as it backed up startled the cats and they dashed under Kevin's porch. Kevin shook his head as he watched their little tails disappear under the steps. He picked up the empty bowl and walked into his house to wash it, through the bay window Kevin caught a glimpse of his new neighbor.

Feeling hospitable, Kevin grabbed a bottle of champagne from his refrigerator and tied a ribbon to the neck. He opened up his front door and stepped out into the bright tropical sunshine. Kevin spotted a young man unloading boxes from a U-Haul truck into the front lawn across the street.

"Hey!" He said, jogging across he street. "Welcome to the neighborhood." Kevin handed the man the champagne and smiled. "I'm Kevin."

"I'm Connor, and thanks."

"No problem, you need a hand?"

"That's okay, I've only got two more boxes."

"Alright, well I live right there if you need anything." Kevin pointed to his little blue house across the the sandy road.

"Good to know, thanks again."

As he watched his tall, too sexy for his own good, neighbor walk away, Connor noticed three pairs of green eyes glinting in the sunlight under Kevin's porch. Connor got on his knees in the sand and clicked his tongue and snapped his fingers to coax the creatures out into the open.

Three cats crawled out into the sunlight and trotted over to Connor. He put a hand out towards them. "Are you friendly?" He asked in a soothing tone.

A big fluffy grey cat stepped forward and head-butted Connor's palm, looking for pets.

"I'll call you Fiona." Connor said happily, stroking his new kitty friend's back. "Your friends can be Jack Kelly and Wendla."

It didn't take long for Jack Kelly and Wendla to follow Fiona's lead and soon Connor had cats crawling all over him.

From his bay window, Kevin observed Tuna, Dolores, and Scotty with squinted eyes, feeling slightly betrayed.

The next morning, Kevin stepped outside to leave his customary bowl of Meow Mix on the porch but his feline patrons weren't there. Kevin whistled and patted the side of his thigh as he walked the perimeter of his house to find them. A thought occurred to Kevin and he snuck across the road to investigate the competition. He was less than please to find his strays outside on Connor's back porch eating Fancy Feast.

"Fancy Feast? Psh, talk about snobby." Kevin grumbled. That day in town, Kevin bought six cans of Fancy Feast, the expensive kind with gravy and bits of chicken.

His plan worked and the next morning the cats were back on his side of the road munching on their expensive food. Kevin petted Scotty's head and watched the cats eat. "I hope you guys are enjoying this, those cans cost ten bucks each."

Dolores flicked her tail and sniffed around. She angled her ears towards Connor's house and stared across the road intently.

Just a moment later, Connor came outside with a bag of Science Diet, an even more expensive brand of cat food. The trio of cats ran down the porch steps and dashed across the street for their second breakfast of the morning. Kevin grumbled to himself as he tossed out the extra food and glared at Connor who grinned smugly with his arms crossed.

Connor thought he'd won, but little did he know, Kevin was a very sore loser and wasn't above shelling out the big bucks for an expensive bag of Blue Buffalo cat food.

The morning after Connor's Science Diet win, he sat with Jack Kelly purring in his lap while he watched Fiona and Wendla eat. Someone shaking a bag of cat food dramatically drew all of their attentions to Kevin filling a bowl across the street.

"Guys wait-" Connor attempted to distract the cats but they were already halfway to Kevin's.

Kevin waved at Connor and winked slyly. "Morning neighbor."

Connor stuck his tongue out at Kevin and turned on his heels to head back in. It was time to plan his rebuttal.

When Kevin woke up on a sweltering hot morning a few days later, there was a giant box in front of Connor's garage. Peeking through his curtains, Kevin observed Connor as he pulled open the flaps and revealed an impressive cat jungle gym.

Kevin stomped out of his house in his pajamas and across the street, ignoring his sandy socks. "This is cheating!" He exclaimed, pointing at the cat toy accusingly.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Connor said, crossing his arms and shrugging.

The cats had arrived to investigate their new toy and Connor picked Wendla up.

"What do you think Wendla? Who's house is better?" He asked.

"This is between the two of us, don't bring the cats into this. It's not good for them." Kevin snapped. "And her name is Tuna."

"Not anymore, now she's Wendla."

"Nuh-uh, it's Tuna, Dolores, and Scotty."

"I'm sorry I think I heard you wrong, did you say Wendla, Fiona, and Jack Kelly?"

"You can't name them after musical theatre characters! They'll get made fun of!"

"Try and stop me." Connor placed Wendla on the jungle gym and grabbed Kevin's hand, leading him away from the cats. "I don't want to argue in front of them."

Kevin crossed his arms. "There's nothing to argue about, I'm the cat-dad." Kevin began ranting about his rights as official cat-dad and Connor noticed the cats sunning themselves lazily in the driveway. "And furthermore-"

"Kevin hold on." Connor interrupted. "Do you think, maybe, they're using us?"

"What?"

"Playing us against each other y'know? So that they get fancy toys and two breakfasts."

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair and noticed the extra pudge that the cats had gained in just a few days. "Holy Heavenly Father, we've been tricked by three stray cats."

"I say we team up and be joint cat-dads." Connor suggested.

Kevin nodded. "A united front against cat manipulation, I like it."

Connor and Kevin shook hands firmly and approached their shared pets. "Time for a rule change, one breakfast from now on and no more sneaking around. Got it?" Connor said.

The cats didn't do anything except continue their naps, but the humans were satisfied with the response. Kevin wrapped his arm around Connor's shoulder and the shorter man blushed. "How about we share our own breakfast?" Kevin asked.

"I'd like that." Connor said shyly. Kevin took his hand and led Connor across the street for a breakfast date.


End file.
